Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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