This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
