I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
