You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize