He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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