your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
