Cold hands, warm shart.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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