Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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