woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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