I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
