Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
