My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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