That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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