There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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