btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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