i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
