Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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