his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
be right there i have to get my cape
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
