And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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