she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
