I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
