Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
