wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
one might say we're banned from that church
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
