we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
