So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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