Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
