i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
