I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
