i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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