Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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