Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
