mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
