Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
