That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
