When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
