This dress was meant to end up on your floor
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
