so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you win again, gameday.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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