I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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