I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize