Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
