Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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