Got a toothbrush?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
