I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
