if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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