You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
