5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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