talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Randomize
