Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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