i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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