Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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