Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
