whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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