Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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