id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize