so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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