i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it's great music for shaving your balls
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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