I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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