it was like eating out sand paper
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
