He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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