Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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