apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
