so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
not ubering you a puppy
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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